KW-11 Tomatoes and wolves
Two of the best things in life.
Well here’s a rum and peculiar thing. I massively doubt that anyone is keeping count, but apparently, I’ve had the calendar week thing wrong all year. The first newsletter of 2026, despite coming out on the 4th January, was actually released to your inboxes and the world1 in Calendar Week 2. I usually get a miscount in at least once a year, but doing it all year from the very beginning is a new one. So, yes, the bit for the people who are counting - we skipped one. There has been no KW-10 this year. Something for the archivists.
Whatever week that was (and as I type this, I realise that as we come out on a Monday, and write about the week gone by, technically I could have tried gaslighting myself by saying that the week reference was for the one I am talking about, not the one I am talking in, but that would have made a mockery of the 200 or so episodes which were self-consistent, and not in that way), but whatever it was, it was pretty productive.
I am feeling good about starting early, finishing late, and doing stuff in between. I blame the sunlight. I have always been fueled by natural light, and significantly depleted by the lack of it and there is a threshold of the stuff under which I am kinda even more miserable, withdrawn and listless than usual, and over which I really enjoy the process of getting things done, enjoy being active, can better tolerate the vicissitudes of existence, and delight in the humour of melodrama.

So, what did I do this week? I can’t even remember. I was too busy doing it to notice. Hmm. Not very good content there, Pirate, try again.
I spent the first half of the week mostly clearing paths. The delight of the snow and ice departing (to return in April, for sure) also reveals the absolute tragic mess that it was hiding under its cold cloak of invisibility. So I started at the very front. I cut back the Bush of Torment quite hard, and harvested a few thousand seeds from it as well. It is some sort of ultra vicious thorn bush, type unknown. It’s not a sloe, I am very sure of that, but the image recognising softwares on the internet all insist that it is. The thorns are up to 4cm long and absolutely relentless in their desire to fight back and pierce the skin. One day, if the seeds sprout, several hundred of its daughters will be an integral part of the Barracks Sleeping Beauty defence. That is the one when you surround your castle with thorn bushes to keep out - what were they keeping out? Husband material? I’m not being preppy about this. This is not the pirate retreating into a defensive shell and awaiting the coming of the great white handkerchief2, but there is a lot of boundary fence here, and parts of it definitely need a little something extra.
The front gate, or rather the area around it, now looks quite lovely. Bush trimmed, leaves swept, little growing things in the tarmac extracted. I’m talking myself into Hammeriting the gate itself now, aren’t I? I would very much like to do that, but as we are hurtling away from the do not rush, it’s still a bit early into the oh my days, I am so far behind portion of the year, perhaps I can better spend my time doing the important things and leave the gate until the summer when there is so much more time for activities.
This week just gone, I did the first mow of the year. In the front as well, where the big New Things project is going, and that is the perennial vegetable beds, so it’s mostly going to be dug up anyway, but cutting turves and creating new permanent beds is by far the toughest job we do here, and doing it with long grass just makes it needlessly more difficult, and besides it looks nice. There was a very small, very young oak tree in the way, though. I removed that, to absolutely no criticism from anyone (!), so I’m good to make a start.
I think the perennial veg is something that I might have put in earlier in the transformation project, but then, I would have had to have not done something else, and honestly, I can’t imagine what I would have switched it with. So in it goes now.
Mostly, though, the cool thing of the week was getting the tomato house to a point where I could test fit the front wall of windows. Considering I eyeballed everything in the whole construction, never troubling the measuring tape, I think it has all come together rather nicely. I really should take the windows off again and make some adjustments and all that blah, but I honestly doubt that I would get them in that nicely again, so they are probably more or less in their permanent places. Pesky things are rather heavy as well, so I was super happy to have the second daughter here on a weekend visit, and she helped me lumber them in to place. I guess there are just the side walls, some sort of ‘door’ thing and the rooves to go. All of which are a) quite considerable and b) lacking in any firm plan for their execution. In the case of the door, I’m not even particularly sure what it is going to look like. Oh, and then I need to construct some sort of beds inside, and fill them full of nice earth. And paint and stain everything. And waterproof and insulate it. Nearly done!

Back to an earlier theme, I think I do now need to start to step up the sowing production. The peppers, chilis, some tomatoes, leeks and onions that I started early are all doing ok, and in the act of typing this I realise that I have forgotten once again to sow aubergines. The celery and celeriac are being slow, so we might try moving them closer to the fire. This week, I do want to get the parsnips, scorzoneras, garlic and onion sets in the ground, directly sowing into the potager, and the tomatoes, beans and pumpkins into pots. This is quite a lot to get done, so it remains on the optimistic side of things, but why not, eh? If it goes well, and I have plenty of sunshine and cups of tea, why not?
How are your seedlings going? Seeing as almost all of you live somewhere warmer than me, I expect you’re looking to transplanting your tomato seedlings soon? Or are you still in the planning stages? What are you going to grow this year that you are looking forward to?
Hope to hear from you in the comments, and until next week, I shall leave you to be healthy and happy and excellent to each other, and bid adieu
Much pirate love
Your loving Pirate Ben
xoxo
And on the YouTubes, don’t forget. There is some behind the scenes magic that uploads the audio narration of the newsletter to the barracks YouTube channel, which is very exciting for me, and hopefully not unpleasant for the 100 plus subscribers we have over there!
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy reference. Honestly, I’m surprised there aren’t more of these.Douglas Adams literally saved my life once. It’s too long a story for a throwaway footnote, but maybe I’ll tell it around the firepit one day.



I’m guessing it’s a v wild blackthorn
https://gardener-advice.com/16923670-risk-of-confusion-with-sloes-this-is-what-they-look-like
i only just sowed tomatoes, chillies and a few other bits! Not bothering with Aubergines, 3 years of failure so maybe I should take the hint.