KW-45 How to disappoint a pig

It's easier than you think

I like to mix things up for the piggies and this week, it rained pretty much all the time, so other than the occasional brief sunshine break, when they tumbled out and ran around a bit, the friendly fatties didn’t come out of their house other than at mealtimes. So, to stop them getting too bored, I put their food to the left, to the right, under the trees, scattered all around to go and hunt for, and, yesterday evening, in the garden.

The Porcine Centipede

The pig house is officially called the Winter Palace, and the fenced off enclosure around it, is Mansion House. To the left of the Winter Palace as you look at it, there is a fenced area inside the enclosure called The Garden.

When they heard me whistling for them, they came careening over each other out into Mansion House, and I cut in behind them and started chucking their food around in The Garden. Foolish human, so into his own brilliant idea, had not noticed that this year, The Garden had been promoted to Designated Shitting Area. I think I didn’t get any food directly on top of any poo, but they were not happy. Pigs do not like to mix toilet and food. I mean, who does? But they are super clean, and they very much like their division of functions.

Marilyn pretty much just got on with it, Tony sorted indignantly. Brunhilda, who has the largest and most expressive vocabulary of them all looked at me with those sad, stirred eyes, and asked plaintively “why do you do this to us, human? Are we not friends?" before shedding a single tear and sorrowfully accepting the humiliation that comes with being made to feel like a pig, and ate her dinner.

Not My Pigs. I went for a bike ride, and it rained. I found these two charmers, though. We had a good old natter, until I remembered that these are not pet pigs, and in 6 months time will probably no longer be digging up this or indeed any field, and I got sad and cycled away again.

A Year in Review

At some point in December, probably not too close to the start, but definitely not in Christmas week either, I am going to do an extra special post of The Barracks Year In Review. Now, I know that everyone does these, and they are all a bit predictable, but this one will of course be sprinkled with dark humour and happy pig videos with only a light winter dusting if doomerism.

I’m going to send it out to paid subscribers only, because even though I said that this would always be free, and the weekly Monday missives will be, I do want to extend a special thank you to those of you who are financially supportive of us here. It means a so much to me, and I don’t say thank you nearly enough, but without you, The Barracks would not still be going. It’s as simple as that.

I am grateful, humbled, and delighted that you all continue to do so. For two months this year (more details in the Year in Review), the subs here actually exceeded the pig food expenditure. I don’t really have the emotional chips to tell you what this means to me, but if you know me, you know that that’s not my strong suit anyway, and I hope you know how much I appreciate it.

You can also subscribe just for the next month, and cancel again in Jan. That would also be lovely!

If you are unwaged, or unable to pay, but would like to get the Review, then let me know on IG or email or somewhere, that you would like to be included in the list, and I shall happily put you on the list. Obviously, you don’t need to give a reason, just tip me the wink and mum’s the word.

See that line of rocks? I dug a big hole and filled with with stones. It’s going to be the tomato house!

This week, I am going to make a kitchen unit for the loft kitchen, and also organise the place properly for a winter of cooking and comfort.

Also, plenty of tidying up things to do in the garden. And rake the leaves.

Until then, with much priately love

Your

Pirate Ben

xoxo