KW-20 Hitzewelle statt Eisheiligen

Some things sound better in German

So this was the week of the long-afeared Frost Saints. Except we had a heat wave. On Wednesday, the air was so thick with pollen, you could watch it swooping through the sky like a starling murmuration. It irritates the back of the nose and throat, and by 11:30, I was inside, giving my eyes a water bath and swearing not to go outside again until 4:30.

There will be a lot of mowing this week. The grass is growing like crazy, and I need the mulch. Also, I like it when things look nice. This is the secret path from the soft fruits to the orchard

Fortunately, I had fed and watered the pigs, watered the greenhouse, prepared some ground for summer greens and finished the bean poles.

Talking of the pigs, I put my main task this week on cleaning out their house. Well, I did. It took all of Monday and all of Tuesday, and I piled up all the scrapings - goodness only knows how many tonnes of it - on the pumpkin break.

Someone sharper than I once commented that the best and the worst things about keeping pigs are the same - the amount of shit they give you. Well, this week, the metaphorical stuff has been totally absent, and the literal stuff nearly put my back out again. (The back is now better. I couldn’t have done the pigs if it wasn’t!)

I think you can already get an idea of how heavy with fruit the redcurrant is going to be. I’ve never seen it make so many flowers. I guess it’s finally happy being where it is

This week, now we’re well into May, and realistically, we’re looking at a long, hot, dry summer, it’s time to get as much of everything into the ground as possible.

Priority, as ever, is to tomatoes and beans. The full, optimistic, run-down of Things To Go In is:

• Tomatoes in the greenhouse (finish clearing, finish adding fresh compost)

• Beans (poles are all up for the climbing beans, lets see about the french, soya and kidney beans)

• Tomatoes in the field (ground is prepped, stakes are not yet in. I’ve also not decided how many to put in. I have about 60 … )

• Pig food. (it turns out that the ground in the vineyard is way worse than expected. In most parts of the barracks, we have rocks and clay. The vineyard is rocks, bricks, cement and a knotted matt of couch grass (Quecke) roots) (but I’m aiming to get at least some sweetcorn and some sunflowers in. The way to improve the ground like this is to work it, right?)

• Green things. (I am desperate for some lettuce. I eat a lot of lettuce. I’ve already sown one row, but I also have a lot of teeny tiny plantlets in modules to put out)

It looks like I’m not going to get to the roots this week. Oh, and I want to get the gourds out as well. Dang. Busy week.

Green things. Mostly related to cabbages.

• Oh, and I have five hornbeans, one caucasian fir and one douglas fir I wanted to plant out as well. That might be optimistic!

Maybe the most exciting news - for me - is that my fabelhafte daughters are arranging a surprise birthday party for me. Obviously, I don’t know anything about it, but astoundingly, this year I turn 50, and there is going to be a Big Thing at the Barracks.

And You are invited! I think there will be something else to say next week, but for now, please pencil in the weekend of the 24th25th September and if you already know my kids, please let them know you are interested, and they will send you details. I’ll be throwing the gates open, and would love for a substantial crowd to descend on the place. Open Day / Pirate Birthday / Party at the barracks! I’ll put a story on my IG as well with something clickable to register interest. Look out for it!

Yours excitedly

The Pirate Ben

A graph to show the relationship between hours of sunlight and growth of lilac trees. North is to the right, south to the left. As Apollo guides the sun across the sky, the left hand side gets shaded by the tall fir trees to the south before the right hand side.