KW-04 There and back again

As you will mostly all know, I have been, and continue to be, away from the Barracks, for nearly all of this week now. I headed off to the UK for my dad’s funeral. The Anglicans don’t rush these things. I’m on the final leg back to the cold and to the piggies now, but of course there hasn’t been anything to report on from the wonderful world of self-sufficiency and climate contemplation.

Also, there aren’t any pictures to illuminate this week’s chapter with. The fam is keen to keep private matters private, and I am signed up to this philosophy as well, so I hope you will forgive lack of photos along with the concomitant brevity this week.

Of course, a funeral, and a wake, are a not just for family, we all touch more people in our lives than just our blood relations. It is a communal get together which despite its melancholic justification, can be a curiously convivial affair. In fact, now I think about it, that’s probably exactly how it should be. There aren’t many times where a pretty diverse group of people meet up, with such a unified single unspoken purpose, often re-creating relationship pathways for the first time in decades. Everyone there has a communally shared dedication to generally thinking and saying only good and positive nice things. The fact that the one person who brought us all together, is most obviously the one who is not there encourages a particularly ego-free and pleasant atmosphere. Sad, of course, but weirdly not depressing. Death is naturally understood in terms of personal loss, yet in that moment where we gather in a forum to share our own, we more keenly experience everyone else’s often unspoken expression of the same. It’s such am important part of the process of grief to be genuinely unifying in a way that so few other human experiences comes close to.

In short, everyone was lovely, the organisation was perfect, proceedings ran with such an absence of incident that the flawlessness of the fluency of the day actually became the talking point - and honestly, who can ask for any more than that? We laughed and reminisced as a family and community of friends. People with connections going back forever came to do their bit - One of the two sisters me and my brothers were brought up with as five equal siblings was there, and I’ve not seen her in over three decades, that was delightful. She and her husband have a great and successful life in Wales, including three mostly adult kids, the middle one of which is named Ben, and everything about him sounds awesome, as you might expect from middle child Bens. An antiquarin aunty, cousins a-plenty, friends galore, beautiful flowers and my lion-hearted mum doing herself and all of us proud filled the room with generous and happy memories.

I was told many times how much I look like my dad. When I replied “yeah, but a bit healthier looking, I hope”, it fortunately brought a laugh and a “same sense of humour as well, I see!”. I think he might have smiled at that one.

The day after I did what you have to do in England and raided the second-hand book stores. I bought way too many, because they were cheap and awesome.

And now, I am back in Germany, and, I am well on my way back home, looking forward to returning to the forest. There is much to do at the barracks, and I’m keen to be back in my own space and getting on with it.

But first:

Families are an endless succession of generations, recycling a pretty slim collection of relativistic sorbiquets. Those who were the children become the parents, and in the process elevate those of us who previously occupied the position with the prefix of grand-. I am, despite my incongruous youth and good looks, grandfather to my perfect granddaughter. I’m going to spend a couple of days with her and try and get the little monster to speak English with me. I do also wonder what my dear daughter, her mum would say if I had brought her an especially annoying gift as a late Christmas present? I guess we will find out.

I look forward to sharing with you all again next week. Remember, it is always important to be lovely to each other, so please do give it a go. And sometimes, it’s also OK to give small children kazoos.

Much pirate Love

Your loving Pirate Ben

xoxo